Death is a state of mind

Talk about doom and gloom – swine flu comes quickly on the heels of recession predictions. We’ll be keeling over in more ways than one. But is most of it in the mind? Do we give too much attention to negatives and too little to opportunities?

How does what we listen to shape our attitudes? How does language shape our personal destiny? We all use language but some of us are more adept at using it positively. Positive thinkers tend to rise to the top because their enthusiasm and belief in themselves and others brings out the best in everyone around them. Now I’m not talking about the sales technique of talking up a product when it really doesn’t match the sales pitch – I’m talking about the mentality of choosing to concentrate on the positive rather than focus on the negative; to do what you can, or control what is controllable.

I was reminded of the strength of positivity this morning when I took a session with three high achievers who have been put onto an informal GATE program at a local school. GATE stands for Gifted And Talented Education. The three nine-year olds had interests in multi-media technology, so I was asked to design a project that they could do with one hour a week’s tuition.

When we got together first I found I had three disparate children whose minds went nineteen to the dozen, who couldn’t wait to compete to show me how clever they were and who all spoke at the same time. How was I going to get that group focused on a project? Late in the hour we focused enough to decide that we would create a road safety project for the Ministry of Transport and that they would each storyboard an idea for an animation.

At the next session they came up with varying ideas (only two related to the topic) and we settled on a selection from those two storyboards. This session occurred just before the Easter holidays but they were so enthusiastic I was sure they would carry the momentum through until this Thursday. Not so …

Today they all admitted they had done next to nothing toward the project. The Ministry of Transport (alias moi) was very annoyed and told them that if they weren’t ‘up to the job we’d find someone else to do it’. The interesting thing about the following conversation was that these nine-year-olds displayed so many tactics that you would normally note in adults on a worksite:

• Avoidance of responsibility – I couldn’t find my disk, my computer doesn’t get the Internet, I was away for half the holidays, I’m so busy with my sports
• Blaming – But XX didn’t phone me up so I forgot, we had a clean out and I think mum threw out my sheet
• Avoiding tasks – I can’t see when I’d fit it in … I’ve got XX on Monday and XX on Tuesday, I’ve got Vista and it can’t read anything from an XP

Each time they came up with an excuse I told them: “I’m not interested in your excuses. All the Ministry of Transport wants is a completed video it can use.” I also named the avoidance technique they were using.

I brought out a prepared timeline and we discussed completion dates for each task using a calendar. There was a lot of talk before the target dates were set and each child recorded them. One boy in particular kept talking about the problems, and how he would have so little time out of school to complete his job. I realized he was focusing on the negative.

In Golden Bay the day had see-sawed between showers and sunshine. I threw open the curtains and told him: “Look outside … See the clouds – they’re the problems. See the sunshine – that’s the opportunity. Which one do you want to concentrate on?”

They all laughed, and one boy said: “My dad calls it ‘is the glass half full or half empty?’”

All bright kids, but already at aged nine they’d learned to look at the negative, to expect things to be hard, to accept failure.

So how does that relate to swine flu and the recession? I can’t control swine flu but I can take any precautions recommended by the medical profession charged with controlling it. Otherwise I’ll just forget about it and get on with life. And the recession? Well there are so many opportunities to be had in an adjusting market, I’ll just get out and find them.

And I’ll leave the last comment on swine flu to my daughter who posted on Facebook: We've decided it should be called Mexican Hog Fever. It's not less gross than Swine 'flu, but it sounds more festive...

On a serious note: If you do need to put some procedures in place to deal with the potential consequences of a flu pandemic, take a look here. We may be able to help. - Heather